*SNORT* It's the "Apologize to Mohammed" contest over at Blazing Cat Fur. Give it a shot. It's rather addictive.
Here's mine: I'm sorry folks keep spelling your name so many different ways. However, I guess that's what happens when a good percentage of your followers never bothered with the most remedial form of education and remain illiterate. Personally, I feel kind of stupid apologizing to you, because I don't think you ever existed. If you did exist, then I'm truly sorry. I'm truly sorry I wasn't there to bash your head with a rock when you decided it was OK to consumate your arranged marriage with a 9 year old.