Top Ten reasons not to use monkeys as bartenders.
10. Full body hairnets destroy the relaxed atmosphere.
9. Alcohol and lower primates never ends well.
8. Too much confusion over the whole ‘monkey bars’ thing.
7. Excrement wars.
6. The mystery of the disappearing banana liqueur.
5. PETA protesting for better wages.
4. Too many old guys with accordions hanging around.
3. No more sports on the televisions; all Animal Planet all the time.
2. Work stoppage if someone inadvertently says, “no more monkeybusiness.”
1. And the #1 reason not to use monkeys as bartenders…Planet of the Apes…nuff said.